the five-dollar newspaper

For a while now, the newsstand price of a Sunday New York Times (outside of NYC, anyway) has been $5. Purchasing one in the Salt Lake airport today brought to mind that milkshake scene from Pulp Fiction, so with apologies to Quentin Tarantino... here goes:


INT. HUDSON'S NEWS, LAX AIRPORT - MORNING

Harsh fluorescent light. Bleary-eyed business travelers and tourists mill around looking for caffeine and reading materials. Vincent Vega (JOHN TRAVOLTA) and Mia Wallace (UMA THURMAN) approach the check stand. The clerk is dressed as a 1950s newsie.

CLERK
How 'bout you, Peggy Sue?

MIA
I'll have this package of Tic-Tacs here -- orange -- and a five-dollar newspaper.

CLERK
How do you want that paper, New York Times or USA Today?

MIA
New York.

VINCENT
Did you just buy a five-dollar paper?

MIA
Sure did.

VINCENT
And that's newsprint and ink?

MIA
Uh-huh.

VINCENT
It costs five dollars?

CLERK
Yep.

VINCENT
You don't get bonus Web content or nothin'?

CLERK
Nope.

VINCENT
Just checking.

Vincent hands the clerk a ten, the clerk hands Mia the newspaper and $3.08 in change, and she and Vincent walk out into the busy airport concourse. Mia brings the newsprint to her nose and inhales.

MIA
Yummy!

VINCENT
You mind if I read a section of that?

MIA
Be my guest.

VINCENT
I gotta know how a five-dollar paper reads.

MIA
We can share this section if you like -- I don't have cooties.

She hands the front section to him. Vincent smiles.

VINCENT
Yeah, but maybe I do.

MIA
Cooties, I can handle.

He skims a few headlines.

VINCENT
Goddamn! That's a pretty fuckin' good newspaper.

MIA
Told ya.

VINCENT
I don't know if it's worth five dollars, but it's pretty fuckin' good.

He hands the paper back to her.

SCENE.


Naturally, I will be optioning this to all interested studios.